Learning.

I have learned many things while being on exchange, from small things like your wedding ring finger is on your right hand instead of left hand in Spain, to big things like knowing and trusting that God will pull you through every situation.

Exchange is a process of making mistakes, laughing through the embarrassing situations, learning from them, and slowly feeling at home in your exchange country. There has not been a day where I haven't made a mistake or learned something. Sometimes it's as small as learning how to open a window, to discovering something about myself and the world around me.

I love learning. I love knowing all these interesting facts, how to do things, and then being able to use them in 'the real world'. I think I was worried that this year I wouldn't learn anything. I think I felt that the word 'learn' only applied to school subjects, homework and exams. I came to Spain to be surprised. I have learned more about myself, the world, and God in these short three months than ever before.

I often find myself in situations wanting to and making mistakes, 'embarrassing' myself, inorder to learn something new, the correct way to do things. I wonder what life would be like if I took this yearning and need to learn into everyday life (life outside of exchange) - how much would I learn? How far would I come if I put myself out there, willing and wanting to make the same mistakes I make here, unafraid of people's thoughts or perceptions of me? Would I learn more? Experience a different sort of life? I want to throw myself into this life I've been given and live it out, glorifying God in any way I can.

This week Adjowa, the exchange student taught me something invaluable. Our class had an English exam, so we were sitting in the courtyard of the school, relaxing in the sun, listening to music, talking about coming on exchange; about being placed in different and new places, not knowing anyone. She told me, "You need to place yourself out there - you need to talk, cevome interested in other people's lives. People always say, 'Yeah but I'm shy.' Shy isn't a personality trait, it's a state of mind. Everyone has it in them to be bubbling with confidence. Talk. Be interested in them, and they'll be interested in you."

It opened up doorways, opened my mind and challenged me. Here I was nodding in agreement, while realising that I had been telling myself that I had been shy. Shy to truly engage in people's lives, too shy to get to know them all properly. I needed to get out of this state of mind. It's not easy to tell yourself to completely change the way you have been thinking. I told myself to snap out of it, take Adjowa's advice. But the easy way of doing things, the familiar ways are always so tempting. I think exchange will always bring struggles and challenges, especially for me, speaking Spanish. I feel extremely challenged in being able to speak Spanish, and because of my lack of confidence in my language skills, I 'feel shy'... But, I know that making my language mistakes, I will learn, and become confident in speaking.


These past couple of weeks have signaled the change from cold to warm. The mornings are now 18 degrees, the days warming up to 28, 30 degrees, and I am loving putting on my dresses and walking through the old cobble stoned streets. I don't understand the Spanish. It's thirty degrees, but they still wear jeans. It's hard to try and assimilate to their culture, without dieing of the heat. Ideas? There is something about summer that just yells creativity. I have been reading a book called 'Capture Thirty Days of Inspiration' by Amanda Powell. It is a thirty day journey of creativity, finding the simple things in life, being inspired to create, and marvelling in God's creation. I have loved reading it and seeing all the wonderful things around me. Something that I have loved doing, something that I have found a love for in Spain, has been baking. Every weekend for the past month, I have baked something - mostly Anzac biscuits, but also cakes, brownies, lasagne... Seeing the bare ingredients and seeing what they've been turned into makes me excited. I don't like sweet things like cake, so I don't really enjoy eating the end result, but I enjoy seeing my creations being enjoyed by everyone else! It has been something that brings me great joy, and I am loving that my family really enjoys the things I make.

brownies I made :)

Anzac biscuits

walnuts we cracked for the brownies.

jasmine.

Summer makes everything smell fresh. Some of my favourite times of my days are in the morning, walking to school. My house is covered in Jasmine, my favourite flower, and I love walking out of my gate, inhaling deeply, immersed in my favourite smell, on a perfect crisp, summer's morning. I often feel creativity spilling out of me, wanting to stop and just look at the awesome world God has created. The other day, María and I went on a walk around Tudela. It was just beautiful. It was a lovely 28 degrees, and we walked along the river, toward the Jesus statue at one end of Tudela. We got lost, and didn't actually get to go to the Jesus, but found beautiful blossoming flowers, mulberries (I told my family about the mulberry pie I made - they are looking foward to eating it, when the mulberries are ripe!), and the longest trail of ants I have ever seen. Sharing these walks with my host sisters has been really fun, getting to know them better, learning how to be a sister, experiencing this once in a lifetime opportunity.

on our walk.

Saying all of this, exchange, particularly over this past week or two, has been extremely difficult for me. I have often felt challenged, left out, I have felt my Spanish hasn't been improving. Exchange is so much more difficult than I thought it would be. I thought it would be an easy breeze - that because I had already learnt Spanish, that I have good people skills, that I would be fluent in a week and have all the friends in the world. On friday, one of my classmates told me that I didn't know a word of Spanish.

"On Friday I had a terrible day... He said I didn't know a word of Spanish, which really hurt me. It make me feel like I wasn't respected, like I couldn't do anything, like I was a failure, like I wasn't trying. I wanted to say to him, 'Do you know how hard it is, being on exchange? I dare you to go to a country that you've never been to for a whole year, live with a family you don't know, go to a school half way through their school year, try and make friends, and learn their language... I dare you to move around the world and have everything you know taken away from you and be challenged about everything. To be away from all of your family and friends for a whole year, not being able to hug them, or run to them for comfort when you're upset. I dare you to take a year and try your best to speak a language you don't know, to experience it to the full, to take everything in stride. I dare you to try and assimilate into their culture, when your body and mind is assimilated to a different type of lifestyle. I dare you to do what I am doing, and maybe you'll see that you should respect me, that I am not a failure, that I am trying.' Of course, I didn't know enough Spanish to say that... So, I walked home crying. Ah, the life of an exchanger!"

I felt terrible on Friday, that I didn't know anything, that I wasn't learning. God works in amazing ways.

On Sunday, I went to my first Spanish church! The walk there was so wonderful, listening to Hillsong, just worshiping God for the life he has given me, no matter what challenges stand in our way. I got extremely lost finding the church, but still somehow made it to the service just before it started. I was the only person under thirty, above the age of 10, the only blonde-ish haired person, so the whole service I had people just openly staring at me. It was great though. So lovely to be sitting there with other people, other believers, learning about God, in Spanish. It was extremely traditional, (like the church in Darwin Mum and Dad) but great nonetheless. It was quite funny, as no one introduced themselves to me afterwards, but I didn't mind, because I just felt home. I was in the home of God, and to sit and just reflect on that was great.

On Sunday afternoon, I went to the park with Javier and watched him for an hour while he played with his friends. I sat, listening to the conversations around me, eating my pippas, when I had a breakthrough.

"I thought to myself, I am in Spain. I was sitting there, in the Spanish sun, feeling completely content, listening in on other peoples conversations, understanding them, eating pippas! I remember when I first saw pippas and thought that they were the weirdest things imaginable. I am here. I am in Spain. I am assimilating, slowly but surely. I am becoming my own unique Laura/Lowwwrrra and Australian living in Spain. God has got my back. That's all I need to know."

This week we are having an English exchange student, Marcus, who is 15 years old. He is in Spain for a week, and it has been great to have him in this house, because it has been such an eye opener to just how much my Spanish has improved. I translate for him and María Antonia, I see how much I have improved, and makes me realise that I am learning. That I have improved immensely. I may not be where I thought I'd be, but God has a plan, and slowly I am realising that this plan is going to be amazing, and amazing journey filled with blessings and joy, and challenges and growth. I have grown and learnt so much in my first four months (four months!!) of exchange, and am so excited for what God has in store for the remaining eight (only eight months left!!) months of my exchange.

Frustration and that small thing called Spanish.

Something I really struggle with is frustration.

This week has been a week of trying to figure out what I've been feeling, and why I've been feeling a little bit like a roller coaster. Most of the time I feel so happy, being where I am. Like I wrote in the blog I posted yesterday, I am so excited. So many things bring such joy into my life, but so many things brings disappointment, anger and frustration. Normally I complain to Mum about it, or think about it for half an hour and then get distracted by the next crazy, fun thing in the life of an exchange student. But I think it's about time that I sit up and look at why I feel these emotions, and try to deal with the problems.

"I guess I haven't written anything in my diary because I felt like I didn't have anything to say.... except that I have everything to say. I know that in 10 years time I am going to look back on these past couple of days wondering what I did and how I felt. And I won't be able to remember. I feel a little bit like a puppy. I am getting so distracted. One moment I'm feeling so excited about something new that I've understood, and then the next I'm sad because I feel like I don't understand anything. And it's not just understanding. It's speaking. My understanding of the language is light-years ahead of my speaking. I want to speak Spanish. I do. Desperately. But I just get so scared. Not even scared really. It's just that English is easier to use. I need to get out of that mindset now. Right now. Spanish, here I come. Look out. Laura Konemann is coming!"

I often write in this blog about how exchange is hard, and then go on to say how good it is. Often, the things that exchange so hard, are things that I can't talk about on a public blog.

But, I want to write about these frustrations. I often feel like I'm getting whiplash from the emotions I experience. I feel so incredible blessed to be here in Spain, and I absolutely love it, but with every good thing, there is also the downsides. I get so frustrated and disappointed in my lack of Spanish. I know that I have improved so much from when I first arrived in Spain, but I honestly hoped and thought that I would be soaring along right now. I thought that conversations would be easy, that I would be able to communicate all that I want, and that I'd be actively participating in class by now. I know now, that that was an unrealistic expectation for most exchange students learning another language. But, I also know, that if I applied myself more, I would be further along in my language skills. I can understand so much more than I can communicate, and that just pretty much breaks my heart, that I can't yet express how I'm feeling, or reply back straight away. At home, I speak English with the kids, to help them learn English. This brings me great joy, seeing them improve a little each day, but with that the biggest frustration that the people I spend the most time with, and the people I talk to most, I have to speak English with them.

Everyday I understand a little more. I love understanding, but it also comes with its drawbacks. In school, there is one teacher who stands against everything that I am: English speaking, and faith. I am an English speaker. I am a Christian. Every lesson without fail she tells her class how much she dislikes these two things, which gets me extremely frustrated. My class doesn't like it either, but they say they have to put up with it. I get so... exhausted. Exhausted of trying so hard to understand, only to feel like what she is saying is directed personally to me. Exhausted of understanding everything except the key point. And although I'm understanding some things, most of the time I'm clueless. Especially if the question or statement is directed at me. I'm so sick of being the idiot!

I don't like not understanding, and I don't like it even more when people remind me every single time I don't understand a word or sentence. So often I feel like a failure because I don't apply myself as much as I should, and that I've been here for 11 weeks, and still don't understand a lot. I look at other people's exchanges, and get incredibly jealous of their language skills or their lives, when deep down I know that they are struggling with the exact same things as I am.

This year (so far!) has been a great year of growth for me, as I have learnt to trust and depend on God so much. As I've said in past posts, my family and friends and familiar and safe place is not here in Spain. But God is. And I feel like God has placed me where I am, with the difficulties I have, for a reason. But it doesn't make it any easier. Something that I have greatly struggled with is comfort. Comfort means, "To soothe in time of affliction or distress." I have realised these past couple of weeks, that I have put my comfort in English. Mum told me about how people often put their comfort in other things like food, sport, language instead of God. For me, this past week has been a week of true realisation that I have put my comfort in English instead of God. Things that I think I can control. And, this isn't the way it should be. I use English instead of Spanish because it is easy. I know English. I don't have to be afraid of getting things wrong, or not knowing what to say. I fall back on English too much, so that I leave no space for me to fall and make those language mistakes so I can pick myself up again and learn how to say it properly. I have put my comfort in English instead of God. I have soothed myself, relieved myself of my frustrations (at least I thought I had!) by using English. But, instead of feeling soothed, I feel frustrated. Frustrated at myself, my situation, and the fact that I can't speak Spanish.

This, this post, is me telling the world that I need to put my comfort in God. I need God's unfailing love to be the warm blanket that makes me feel better, for it to soothe my distresses, relieve the pain. English, food, sport, these things can't take away the frustrations or my problems. The only thing that can is God. Instead of trusting in Him properly, stepping forward on this scary thing called exchange, I've run and hidden under a table, excusing myself from getting my hands dirty, telling myself that it's "too scary" or "too hard". I didn't come on exchange expecting it to be easy. I didn't come on exchange to back out or run away from the hard times. I came on exchange to confront these aspects of life that I struggle with, to challenge myself beyond compare. I came on exchange to learn Spanish, experience a culture and gather enough knowledge and memories and experiences to last the rest of my life.

This is me, telling you all publicly that this is my aim of exchange. I don't want to return from exchange full of 'what-ifs'. What if I had learnt Spanish fluently? What if I had tried that dish? What if I had invited myself to that party? I want to let myself fall into the comfort of God's love and spread my wings and truly fly. God has amazing things planned for the rest of this year, and I need to trust in Him and let Him guide me through that.

So what I ask for is prayer. Prayer that I will follow through on what I am saying. Prayer that I will lean on God and have His unfailing love be my comfort. Prayer that I will praise the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.

The following bible verses are some that have been really eye opening to me, and have given me great comfort over the last day or two. I encourage you to look at your own lives, and see where you have been finding comfort. You may be surprised. I was.

May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. - Psalm 19:76

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. - 2 Corinthians 1:2-4

I love those who love Me, and those who seek Me early and diligently shall find Me. - (Proverbs 8:17) (Sent to me from another exchanger, Vic - http://stepsandslow.blogspot.com/ )

P.S. After writing all this, I'm still loving my time here, and being encouraged greatly by all that I'm learning and being challenged in.

Winter has returned...

I don't want to apologise for not writing again last week, because my excuse is that I got caught up in life, enjoying the Spanish culture and all that Spain has to offer... I don't think that is something to be sorry about. It is my only hope, that as these weeks turn into months, I will become more and more busy becoming a little Spaniard. But nonetheless, I have so much to say that I wish I had written last week, and let you all know what's been happening in my life these past two weeks.

What a couple of weeks it has been. Not that anything remarkable, or life changing has happened, but small things that make me realise that I am in Spain, and that there will be both good times and bad. Exchange has been crazy, and so completely different than I or anyone else could have imagined it. Last week, I had credit card fraud. My money from my bank account was stolen, leaving me with $50 in the bank. Credit card fraud isn't extremely pleasant at any time, but it's especially not nice when you're on the other side of the world from your support system, without knowing what to do. It was one of those moments where I just wanted to hand everything over to Mum and Dad and let them deal with everything. I sent them an email about what to do, but had to call the bank to get everything sorted out. Mum and Dad helped lots, and I am forever thankful that they didn't really mind waking up at 2am in the morning to help me sort it out! I felt a little like I had been pushed into the deep end, without a lifesaver. I had to try and explain what had happened to my host family, which took a while cause we didn't understand each other at first. María Antonia thought that I had had $50 stolen, telling me to be careful next time... but after we communicated to each other that I only had $50 left in the bank it became much clearer. It doesn't feel like too much of a big deal writing about it now, but I remember feeling overwhelmed by everything at that moment. But it was a great learning curve for me, as I had an important issue that needed to be talked about, and gave me an opportunity to improve my Spanish. Not everything has been resolved from the fraud, as I haven't got my money back yet, but I am hoping that it'll be returned!

These past two weeks have been the weeks where I have felt like I have finally settled in. I am starting to get into the rhythm of life, and have started to feel like, and have accepted that Tudela is my home for the next year. It has been an incredibly exciting, fun, draining, tedious and wonderful experience to have things start to feel like home. I have started to have a routine. I now know that if I walk up the stairs to cross the bridge over the train station in the morning before the old beret-wearing grandfather taking his grandson (I'm assuming) to school, then I am on time. If they are infront of me, then I am running late. I know that I'll pass the courtyard near my house on the way to school at 8:37 every morning. I know that I'll pass the courtyard before school at 8:44 and I can walk slowly and relax a little. I know how long it will take me to get to la biblioteca y el conservatorio (the library and the music conservatory) and when I need to rush or relax. I know that on Monday, I'll pass that lady who walks her Siberian Husky. La camerera (The waitress) at the coffee shop I go to everyday knows exactly what I want, and I don't need to ask anymore. I have noticed the routine in other people's lives, which only emphasises to me, the fact that I now have a routine. This thought alone is invigorating, and a little crazy to comprehend. I am looking forward to when I know Tudela like the back of my hand, and I can't wait for the day when it will become my 'second home'.

Last Wednesday I got the opportunity to go to Madrid for the day!! I had to go to re-apply for my extended Visa. I was so excited, and I couldn't wait to see the other exchange students to see what they have been up to this past month. We have all Facebooked each other, but it's not the same as face-to-face contact. I wasn't sure as to how I was going to be getting to Madrid, as JYC (Juventud y Cultura, [Youth and Culture] - my Spanish exchange program) hadn't organised anything. After writing to them, they finally (In Spanish time!) replied and let me know that they were paying for my ticket, and that I'd be going by train. I was really happy, because it cut my travelling time down by 4 hours (2 extra hours there, 2 extra hours back by bus.) Winter has temporarily returned to Tudela, with really extreme winds, and it has been absolutely freezing. I will be wearing lots of layers, all rugged up, but the wind just passes straight through them, making me feel like ice. I had been told that Madrid was even colder, so I left to walk to the station with too many layers on to count. I started to walk and as I was listening to my Ipod, my fingers started to lose their feelings. Regardless of my loss of feeling, I was in total bliss. I felt so blessed to be able to be walking to the train station in such a beautiful town, looking at the white sky and feeling... at home.... when it started to snow. On the outside I was calm and poised; on the inside I was a giddy five year old, jumping up and down. I got to the train station with 15 minutes to spare, and had the choice of waiting inside for the train, or waiting outside with the snow. I chose the snow. It was so beautiful, with the wind picking up the snow and making beautiful patterns, each of the snowflakes doing their own dance. I noticed that I had started walking in circles, walking in beat to my music, bopping about, a goofy grin plastered to my face, with the Spaniards looking out at me from the heated waiting room at the crazy girl who was dancing with the snow. This is why I love exchange. This is why I love Spain. I get to experience small but amazingly big things. These small but big things will be the things that I remember when I'm 84 with no teeth telling my great-grandchildren about that time I went to Madrid.

The train ended up being half an hour late. The trip down was stunning, with the landscape changing by the minute.

From mountainous (you can't really tell from the photo, but it was!)

To desert. I know that it doesn't really look like there is much difference, but it was staggering. So beautiful.

It was great to see the other exchange students. I felt quite nervous though, I'm not sure what about... maybe about my language skills, if what I had been experiencing had been the same as the others... but as soon as I saw them, that nervousness faded away, It was so good to see them, and lo and behold... we have been experiencing the exact same things. I was really impressed by everyones Spanish and was so glad that their Spanish had come so far when they hadn't known any to begin with. Most of them (I think!) are taking Spanish for foreigners classes and I think I may look into that, cause it's obviously working immensely for them. We got the Visas done, without any pain and talked to each other at every possible moment about how everything was going... comparing daily routine, food, family, friends, experiences. It was so nice to see people who were experiencing what I have been experiencing, at the exact same time. It was extremely reassuring that the struggles I have had were the same that they were experiencing. We had lunch together, and we ordered a salad. (YES!!) All of us have been feeling quite sad about the lack of fresh vegetables and salad that Spaniards eat. It was nice to share a moment of, "Oh my goodness, if I don't eat some salad soon I might die" together, and then eat a salad and sigh at the loveliness and un-oily-ness of it. We were on our own then, and decided to have a Starbucks coffee. We all ordered our coffee, and I was astounded by how normal it felt to be ordering in Spanish. It made me realise how far my Spanish has come, and how I am confident enough to do everyday things like order coffee. Ordering coffee may not seem a big thing, but to do it with ease, and no fear of getting things wrong makes me feel on top of the world. These are the moments that make exchange. I feel like most of my accomplishments that I feel, are ones that seem so small and insignificant. I guess that there will be many small and insignificant moments that I will remember forever.

There is nothing like sharing a cup of coffee with a group of girls. And these girls, (L>R: Rachael, Me, Pascale, Vic and Bianca) are girls I know that will be very close to my heart at the end of this year. We all share a special bond and cannot wait to get to know them more and more.

I love Madrid. It is so beautiful. Although I have only been there twice, and for such a short amount of time for both of those times, I know that Madrid is one of my favourite cities in the world. I look at Madrid with a little bit of possessiveness. I look at it, and I feel myself whisper to myself, "Mine." Because, for a year, Madrid is mine. It is mine to explore, to look at, to become a part of. Because this year is all about me being in Spain, discovering Spain, becoming Spanish. I feel like everytime I have come to Madrid it has taken a little piece of my heart. The architecture is amazing. The atmosphere is inviting, like a hot cup of coffee on a cold winters day. The people's Spanish nature is infectious. Everyday I find myself falling a little more in love with Spain and it's culture.

I have found myself liking different things than when I first arrived in Spain. I like a little bit of olive oil on things now. When I first arrived, I thought it was weird, and I thought to myself, "Why did I come to a country with such weird food!" I am becoming a Spaniard by picking the bones from my fish, occassionally chewing the fish from the bone. I now use washing up gloves, when before, in Australia I despised them. In Australia I never used a bath mat, thinking they were the most stupid invention in the world, and I secretly had a thing against people that used them. Here in Spain, we use them. I have gotten so used to the bath mat, that, the other day, when the bath mat wasn't in the bathroom, I freaked out, thinking to myself, "How am I supposed to get out of the shower! I can't get out of the shower without my bath mat!" Before carefully getting my hand towel from its rack and placing it on the ground as a substitute bath mat. In Australia, I did not like licorice. In fact, I really didn't like it. I wouldn't ever eat it. But here, in Spain, I love it. I'm not sure if it's because it's differently made, or if it's because I miss my Dad so much and I know that he likes licorice. I am astounded at the things that have changed. But, I'm enjoying and embracing this type of change.

There has been some things that I worry about, particularly with change. I have been challenged immensely while I've been in Spain by the different personalities I have seen while I've been here. I feel like a lot of the time, I don't really fit in here. I mean, I do in some sort of way, but I'm different. I am yet to meet a Christian in Spain. That's been so difficult for me. People expect particular things out of people, or expect people to behave in a way that I don't really want to be like. I don't see the point in getting drunk every weekend, or doing stuff that is not good for my body or good for me emotionally. I am still new here, in Spain, and I haven't yet made a real Spanish friend. Yes, I have friends, and I chat with them, and I would call them my friend... but it's difficult to have a friend that you connect with on a deeper level when you don't share the same language. I know that a lot of exchangers struggle with this, and it is a challenge, as I want to fit in, become friends with everyone, without giving up who I am, and what I believe.

"I don't want to sacrifice myself, who I am to have people accept me. I don't wante to give up who I am, who God made me to be to fit into what people expect of me. I am different to a lot of people. (General group of people... not everyone!) I haven't met a single Christian while I've been here, and that has been difficult. There have been times when they've (This they I'm talking about is about a particular group, not about the whole of Spain or my whole class etc...) bagged out Christianity, and I've just wanted to run. But, I haven't. I've told them what I believe. They have a moment where they stare at me in embarrassment of what they've just said, and then I smile and it's all ok. And I think they respect me more because of that. I haven't shied away from who I am, and what they've said. Sure, I'm still different. I'm not Spanish right now. I am Laura, the Australian. I want to adapt and become a culture Spaniard, but I will never be the person who will give themselves up for the ways of the world. It may be a more difficult road, but I've heard, (and studied... :|) that 'the road less taken...' has '...made all the difference'"

That being said, I really like my classmates, and I don't always feel like I am completely different from them. They really do go out of their way to approach me and be friendly to me, and I'm beginning to see through my first judgments of them, and see the real person behind the clothes and hair and appearances. I just tried uploading a class photo of my class, but it didn't work. So, I shall tell you about them in text, and hopefully will get the photo up another day. Starting from the top left of the photo:

Gonzalo. I sit next to him in most of my classes, and is probably the nicest person in the world. He is always going out of his way to make me comfortable, or making sure I understand everything. His mum is a kindergarten teacher, so he brings me in books in Spanish and gets me to read them to improve my Spanish. He is really nice. He is also 18. Most of the kids in the class are 16, which I struggle with, as soon I'll be 19, and they'll still be 16, or 17. A two or three year age gap.

Carlos. I don't really know anything about him. I haven't ever talked to him, but he seems nice enough.

Luis. Luis is also 18. He is a giant, (compared to me anyway.) and is really lovely. He is always late to class, (it seems) but noone seems to mind. I think he has the goofiest smile and has a big laugh. But, also has a shy side to him.

David. Hilarious. I love him. I kept wondering why he kept on changing clothes for while, as I'd see him in some classes with one jacket on, another class with a different jacket. Turns out he has a twin brother, that's in geography with me. Oops. Loveliest guy, and is my little badminton partner. He reminds me of Scotty, with all the energy he has.

Raquel. Raquel is really nice. She is an amazing artist. In Latín I sit next to her, and just stare in awe at the talent she has.

Sabier. He cracks me up. I assume he has the humour of Arby, and is extremely stubborn. When he gets into a debate, he gets extremely fired up. VERDE ES VERDE! Filosofía brings fun memories of him and the teacher arguing.

Tamara is gorgeous. Absolutely beautiful. And nice :)

Pablo. Pablo's a ranga. And funny. And nice. I like him.

Andrea. Andrea reminds me of Jess Taylor. I think you guys would be friends. I quite like her too.

Aritz. He reminds me of Nick Davidson. Has a unique laugh, but I don't really know anything about him. He's nice too.

Rosa. Rosa is gorgeous. I don't really know much about her, but everyone really likes her, so I'm assuming she's really nice!

Javier. He is pretty much the Spanish version of Joel. But more... Joelish. It's like having 100 Joels in the room. I like him :)

Nora. Nora is Madi Weston. But Spanish. So cute, and adorable and shorter than me. She is so unbelievably nice and wonderful. And she seems to be small enough to fit in my baggage to take back home. She is really really, lovely. I really like her.

Sofia. Sofia sits infront of me, and although we haven't talked much, she's really lovely. She is going out with Gonzalo, and they've been together for a year and a bit. They're really cute together, and she has a nice smile.

Marta. Marta sits next to Sofia, and is really good friends with her and Gonzalo. She is really nice, and absolutely gorgeous. I love her hair.

Adjowa. Adjowa is the other exchange student, and I've already talked about her in previous blog entries. She's really nice, and has helped out heaps with my first few weeks of exchange and getting settled in.

Naiara. I love this girl. She is really funny, has the funniest laugh ever, and is really accomodating. She and Luis sit behind me and Gonzalo and we get to chat a bit. She's really cute :)

And that's my class. I quite like them :)

Sorry that my blog has been so disjointed, I have been writing it all weekend. I thought that I would share another little bit from my journal.

"I'm currently sitting at the table outside of the coffee shop at the tennis, and I'm quite cold as teh wind has a bite to it. It it's nice nonetheless. I love where I'm living - it's so beautiful. I feel so blessed to be here, but I do feel a little jealous of the exchangers living in Madrid. They're all so central to everyone and everything. But I know I shouldn't dwell on that. I should dwell on the face that I am close to my town and can walk everywhere, whereas they cannot. I should see that I have been able to go to Madrid, and will be able to do that again and again. I have people like Joc, who seem to call at the right time and offer such a sense of comfort when I'm feeling down. I've gone to France. I am wiht a family who genuinely care fore me. I am with a family who will allow me to experience many different things. I am able to get an exchange experience that I know will be an excellent success. There are many things that I struggle with on exchnage. There are things that I love. there are things that will frustrate me or make me feel like a failure. But I know. I know with every essence of my body, that going on exchange is the right thing me for to do. I might get frustrated beyond belief or want to give up, but like they say:
"Exchange...they never said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it."

It's now Sunday night, past my bedtime and I thought I'd leave you with a book I just read Javier. It is a book called Lotsa de Casha by Madonna. Here is the blurb. "Lotsa de Casha was by far the richest man in teh country. He had everything that money could buy, but no matter how much money Lotsa made, he wasn't happy. No matter how many grand castles, fast horses or fancy carriages he bough, he was still a gloomy old sourpuss. Find out how Lotsa not only discovered the secret to happiness, but also found a friend."

I think this has got to be my new favourite book. It was filled with different facts, which added to the story, but I think also said a lot about how to live life. I was greatly encouraged by the words, and encourage you to read the book. I'll leave you with some of the quotes.

"Fact number 1: Just because something's expensive doesn't mean it's worth it."

"Fact number 2: Unhappy people like it when everyone else is unhappy."

"Fact number 3: The secret to happiness is this: if you share what you have and ut others before you, you will find happiness."

"Fact number 4: Unhappy people always attract more unhappiness."

"Fact number 5: Smiling is contagious."

"Fact number 6: When you learn to share, oyu will not only find happiness. You will also find a friend."

"Lotsa de Casha had never worked so hard in his life. He had never seen so many people smile. He was starting to feel good about himself.... he thought about how nice everyone had been. He realised that he hadn't thought about how much money he had for over a week. He realised he was happy."

In what ways are we able to share today?

One month...

This will be a very short post (as it's midnight and I just finished watching a movie with the family and I'm exhausted) to say that I made it to my one month anniversary!!

How incredible, and how crazy? I can't believe that I have been in Spain for a whole month. I feel like I'm still the 'newbie', still finding my footing in this crazy place called Spain; yet at the same time, I feel like I have been here forever. I had a bout of homesickness today. It was a bittersweet day, as I felt so excited that I had made it to the one month mark, but then realised that I still had 11 more to go. Not to say that I don't want to have them, because believe me, I can't wait for these next 11 months. I am no where near ready to come home yet. But it's been a month since I've hugged Mum, talked with Dad (face to face), cuddled Bonnie, hung out with my siblings, watched movies with Ape and Min, laughed with Tarn, had coffees with Jo and Pip, played with Ellyn, enjoyed spending time with my relatives. All the people that are most important to me are in Australia, and today, I felt incredibly sad that I wasn't there with them. I am constantly missing home, but I know it's not forever. I can acknowledge that I miss home, but not get sad about it. Today I was sad. A month is a long time without the comfort of familiarity.

I sent an email to Mum and Dad saying so, and as soon as I pressed send, I went out to Tudela with María and Ana and had the time of my life, making me extremely happy to be in Spain. I acknowledged that I missed home, but was no longer sad about it. I felt like that was a huge reason to celebrate... to know when you're homesick, but approach it in a way to combat that feeling of sadness.

Prayer is, of course, essential in this. Where would I be without prayer and God? I know I probably say this in every post, but it's so true, and such an important part in my exchange and how it plays out: God is a constant in my life. Everything changes except him. Jas (my sister-in-law) sent me an email today, and it was just what I needed. (I hope you don't mind me showing this little bit Jas!)

"It says in Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
So enter his throne room and sit at his feet, let him refresh you and bring you peace, strength, comfort, hope, health, joy, forgiveness, passion, energy, restoration and most of all bask in his love for you!"

It was what I needed to read, and I felt like it was such a God moment.

Anyway I'm exhausted so I'll post again tomorrow and let you know how my week has been! Love to all x x

I am a lady in Spain...

Before I left for exchange, I promised myself that the first song I'd listen to in Spain, would be 'Lady in Spain' by Ingrid Michaelson... sure enough, it was the first song I listened to, with the first line saying, 'I am a lady in Spain'. And indeed, I am. I am a lady in Spain. I am a lady living in Spain.

Today is the two week mark of my exchange. I have officially completed 3.84615384% of my exchange. In my first two weeks of exchange, I've spent two days in the capital city of the country, Madrid, gone to school, settled into my home, gone to a traditional Spanish fiesta, dressed up in costume, gone skiing, gone to the Pyrenees and gone to France. (And tonight I even had a type of Paella... not really paella as it didn't have any meat... but if it had, it would have been!) I have felt incredibly blessed with all that I have been able to do in such a short amount of time!

Last weekend, we had a puente, which directly translates as bridge, but in this case means... long weekend! We had until Tuesday off school, it was the festival, Carnaval, that weekend. Carnaval is a big fiesta to mark the beginning of Lent, (40 days before Easter). It's probably the equivalent of the US Halloween, but 10x bigger. Everyone dresses up as a group; so I saw lots of groups all dressed identically. I, however, only found out that you had to dress up a couple of days beforehand, so I didn't have the time to go out and get what other people were wearing. Instead I wore black, bought a mask and became Catwoman. (Unfortunately I completely forgot to take a photo of myself dressed up!) At 7 o'clock on the Saturday night, everyone came to the town to watch the parade (normally every year, the parade is held in the Plaza Nueva, but it is currently being re-tiled... so it was in the second biggest area). There were hundreds of people, and the parade went on for about forty minutes. It was so amazing, but it was so cold, -2, which made it uncomfortable, especially in my costume of tights and a thermal top (but I was wearing a jacket, scarf and gloves)! The pictures below are of the parade. (Sorry for the massive pictures... I don't know how to make them smaller!)

There were so many different dances from different countries, it was quite cool.

These were giant... things... that danced as well. They were fun!

This was probably my favourite part of the parade. There were groups of people from South America, and the groups from Peru and Bolivia did their traditional dances in their traditional clothes. It was really great. The men all wore sneakers, but the shoes are part of the traditional dress for women, so they all wore sandals, and on close inspection, many were wearing the sandals without any stockings or anything... in -2 degree weather.

After the parade, I went and had dinner with Adjowa (the other Australian exchange student) and Chessie, and English Au Pair, and we had Chinese. My other Spanish friends had dinner at one of their houses together, but because I'm only new, and they barely knew me, I wasn't invited. The Chinese food was completely different to that in Australia, and I have to say that Australian Chinese is better! But it only cost 7 Euros for an entre, rice, meal and drink which was great. By the time we had finished dinner it was only 10pm. So I went back home, and was told to meet up with the other people at midnight, you know, because that's when Spanish people leave home for the night. I was so tired, and I was leaving for the snow at 8am the next morning. But, I went, and had fun. In Tudela there is a street called Tubo, which is full of bars that everyone hangs out at. I really like the Spanish culture. You greet everyone (outside of school) with dos besos (two kisses) - one on the right cheek, and then one of the left cheek. I think it's nice, and when I was greeted that way, I felt as if I had made friends. At one point in the night, I was walking to the restaurant in Tudela, when I heard someone yell out, "Laura?" I looked around to see a guy in a costume looking at me. I had no idea who it was, so I said, "Sí?" And he started walking up. When he got closer, I realised that it was Gonzalo, the guy I sit next to in class. I felt like jumping up and down because someone from my class had recognised me and gone out of their way to say hi. We greeted each other with dos besos and chatted for a bit. The small things like someone yelling out your name and stopping to say hello are the things that make being in Spain special. I stayed in Tubo until 2 in the morning, and fell into bed, exhausted.

I got up at 7 the next morning to get ready for skiing, as we were leaving at 8. At 8:30 my family still weren't up, so I waited... and waited... and waited... until around 10:40. Almost three hours after we were meant to leave. I then found out that the carreterra (the road) to the snow was closed, so we couldn't go skiing that day. I was so frustrated at the situation, as I could have slept for longer, and we didn't leave until around 4pm that day. I get stressed with things like this... when I get up early, and then don't leave until late. I don't really know why it stressed me out, as it didn't really matter that we didn't leave, because we couldn't ski anyway... but I just felt stressed, which in turn, made me homesick.


We stayed in a small town called Isaba, about 25 km south of the border of France. It was covered in snow (not that you can see in the photo) and was extremely beautiful. On the Sunday it was -6, during the night it was -18 and on Monday it was -12. I'm not sure how cold it was on Tuesday though. Probably around -6ish.

On Monday the road was still closed, so we went cross-country skiing instead (de fondo in Spanish). It was so much fun. I was so terrible at it, as I'd never done it before, and felt like I had no control over the skis as my heel wasn't connected to them. So my skiing was more like disjointed, clumsy walking. But definitely fun.

The road was open on Tuesday, so I got to go downhill skiing. Oh, my, the view to France was just stunning. The view while I skiied was stunning. I loved it so much. It was such a great day, and the skiing was fantastic... The last time I went skiing was in 2004, so a while back and I had been worried that I would have forgotten how to ski. But I didn't! I remembered it all straight away. Ahh, skiing is so much fun.

As you can see from this photo, the view was magnificent! I kept thinking "Just beautiful!" for you Mum :)

But as I wrote earlier, I was homesick. Everything I do and see reminds me of home in some way. And I felt ecstatic that I was seeing France, getting to ski, being able to see another part of Spain... but I felt a twinge of homesickness. This is a small excerpt from my diary:

"I keep asking myself, 'Laura, are you having fun?' and I don't know how to answer. Because as ecstatic I am that I am skiing, and as wonderful as my time in Spain has been, it's also been very surreal. I think it is only just sinking in that I am in Spain for a year. I. live. in. Spain. It's sinking in, but so is the fact that I am away from my family for a year. I'm starting to miss my home, and my family, Australian food. I thought this year would be so much easier than it's been. Not that I've had a hard time, but emotionally it's been hard. I think it's hit home that I'm missing out on a year of my parents' life. And that makes me really sad. So, I'm on holidays, skiing, I should be ecstatic - I am ecstatic, but underneath that there is a dull ache. I'm aching for a hug from Mum, and I'm aching for Dad's squinted smile. I've only been here one and a half weeks... how will I cope for a whole year?"

And this isn't to say that I'm having a hard time all the time. Oh no. I'm loving it here. Yes, exchange has its low points, but it also has its highs. Like, finding a Spanish friend, who doesn't speak a word of English (as most of the kids at my school speak English really well) and finding out that he has the same love for movies as me. To be able to connect with someone through something like movies, showing them imdb.com and them showing me the Spanish equivalent is amazing. To be able to try and succeed in explaining the Royal Easter Show and The Man From Snowy River is fun. To be able to see how my Spanish is improving every day, and see my confidence in my language skills growing is such a blessing. María Antonia told me a story today in Spanish, about a mouse who was with his children, when a cat started chasing them. The mice hid behind a chair and said, "woof woof!" and the cat ran away. He then turned to his children and said, "This is why it is important to learn different languages." Haha! I thought it was hilarious, and I loved that I understood it. I am understanding more and more, which I'm loving. I'm not speaking as much Spanish as I'd like to, which is a cause of frustration, but I believe that that will change, and no matter my circumstances, I will try my absolute best to speak Spanish.

Sorry if my posts are disjointed, as I am only going to write once a week, and it's hard to remember all of the things I want to say. I'm bursting with things to say right now, but can't express it in words that will make sense. I guess, all I can say, is that is exchange is more and less than what I expected. Every exchange student has told me, "Don't go to your country with expectations." I thought that I was the best exchange student, and that I had no expectations whatsoever. But everyone does, either consciously or subconsciously. In so many ways I have been challenged in the way that I view Spain. I have been right about so many things, and wrong about so many things. I have been surprised by the amount of bread Spanish people eat. I have fallen in love with Spanish bread. It is so delicious. I eat bread everyday, toasted with olive oil. I was surprised by the kindness of the students in my class. The first day they didn't really pay attention to me, but as they got to know me, they started saying 'hi' in the corridors, talking to me, making my timetable readable, translating things that I don't understand. I feel like I have discovered a Spain that I never knew about, and as the year goes on, I can't wait to discover more of the hidden truths about the country that I am living in. However, one thing I have been right about (at least with my host family), and I have struggled so much with, has been running late. You're on time if you're 10 minutes late to school. You're early if you get there at 9am. (When school starts.) I am someone, who in Australia, was occasionally late to things, by 5 or 10 minutes, but not all the time. If I needed to be somewhere, I would make sure I was there. I have been to school for 2 weeks now, and have been late everyday, which just absolutely. stresses. me. out. It's not a bad thing that my family are late; that is part of who they are, and the culture of Spain. But for me, (and one of my teachers) I have found it something really difficult to adjust to. I talked to my host mum, María Antonia, and told her how important it was that I was on time to my maths class, as the teacher has been annoyed at me for being late. So, today, we left earlier, and got to school at 9am. But by the time we got out of the car, rushed to the class, the door was already closed, and I had to knock to be let in. The teacher told me that if I was late again, I wouldn't be let into the classroom. I felt horrible. At that moment, I was thinking, "Oh my goodness, what am I doing in Spain?" I've been here two weeks, and already a teacher doesn't like me. These cultural differences are challenging to me, and I know that it will take time for me to properly adjust to them. Maybe when I get back home I will always be late, or perhaps I will always arrive 5 minutes early!

One constant through my time in Spain has been God. I wrote in my diary today:

"I feel like all of these things are happening, and it all just means that I need to learn to rely on God all the more. I don't have Mum and Dad and my friends to talk, celebrate and cry to all the time, I have God. He is with me always. And he will never forsake me."

I feel like this exchange, if for nothing else, is going to be a year of yearning to know more about God and searching to find what His plan for me is. Brad sent me a bible passage the other week, which I found really powerful. This little bit is 2 Corinthians 4:8,16-18:

"We are hard pressed on every side but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed... Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

I made it!

I made it to Spain! How incredible.

I don't know where, or how to begin... maybe with saying goodbye. I don't know what to say about saying goodbye, except that it was one of the hardest things I've had to do, and I found it incredibly hard to do. I thought I would never stop crying.

I didn't sleep well on the last night I had in Australia. Not because I was sad about leaving, but because I was dreaming about all I had to do. Before I went to sleep I was sad, because I only had one more night to hug Mum and Dad in bed. So I got up, went to their bedroom, had a little cry, hugged and finally went to sleep in my own room. One last time for a year. That morning I repacked all my things, and got rid of so many clothes. (Looking back on it, I'm glad I got rid of all my t-shirts, because there is no way I would be wearing them now... it's way too cold!)

Before long, it was time to go. Oh saying goodbye to Bonnie. How I miss that little cutie. I swear every dog I see (big or small) looks exactly like Bonnie. Mum, Dad, give her a big hug for me!!

And then I was at the airport. We had a coffee at Krispy Kremes, and I thought it was lovely that my best friends April and Min, and Josh came to the airport to farewell me. This is from a journal entry that I wrote on the way to Spain:

Time moved on and I realised, I just wanted to 'rip the bandaid off'. I didn't want to sit around for another half hour pretending I wasn't going. Oh the tears, will they ever disappear?
Saying goodbye to my family has been the hardest thing I've ever done. I love them so much and it pains me so much that I won't be able to share this part of my life with them physically. I miss Dad's warm hugs, and Mum's soothing touch already, and I'm only just past Alice Springs. But like 'Desert song', from Hillsong, "All of my life, in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship." in every season, whether it be a hard or joyous season, I will always have a reason to praise God. Because he has given me, for now, a wonderful family,mybeautiful friends, and a life full of adventures.
So I take a big breath in; I sigh. I close my eyes and anticipate the year God has in plan for me.

And I have felt incredibly blessed by this opportunity! I have seen so many great things in this past week. Madrid was so amazing. I feel like I could easily live there for a year.. so many great things to see, and many narrow streets to explore! We got to Madrid, and I was pretty disappointed.. I felt like it was too warm to be Europe! But, when I went out later it was really cold.. well I thought it was cold - around 9 degrees... but from summer it was. At the airport I had my first translation fun. We were at customs, and we weren't sure what we had to declare, and Vic (another exchanger) had a shep's skin. So she said, "sheep skin" and the customs guy was like.... "no understand" So I said, "piel (skin) de...." I couldn't think of the word for sheep (ovejas) so just said, "Baaaaa" He understood then!

The people of JYC are very nice. We were met by Maria Carmen, who told us about the city on our way to our hotel in the centre of Madrid. When we arrived at the hotel, we met Emerito, the old man in charge of JYC. He is the loveliest man ever, and the cutest one too! After lunch, we had a shower, and cleaned up, and then Olga, another JYC representative took us around Madrid at about 3pm. Madrid is just beautiful. It is full of old, history filled buildings, and has such a lively unique characteristic. In all the different plazas, there were different people playing music, which added to the mood. By the time it got to 3:45, the jetlag had set in, and I began to resent having come out. I felt like if someone so much as smiled at me, I'd cry. We stayed out till 7:30, and I felt like I'd conquered the world, I was so tired. We went and saw all of the sites... The Retiro (the most beautiful garden!), La Puerta de Alcala (also very stunning!) The picture to the left is of the lake thing that's in the Retiro. There were a lot of boats out there, and apparently, lots of people go out there (especially couples) for an hour at a time. It looked like so much fun. After we got back from our walk (trek in my eyes!), we had dinner, una bocadilla de tortilla. A Spanish omelette on a roll. The bread in Spain is really nice. I have yet to see a loaf of bread. People just eat like baguette type bread, and it is so delicious!

I was meant to catch a 3pm bus the next day to Tudela. Emerito drove me to the bus stop (I don't know if I'd call it driving though. He was driving around 90km in a 30km zone, barely looking at the road. I have noticed that road rules aren't taken into account when people are driving. Here in Spain, give way signs at roundabouts are just a recommendation. Cars stop in the middle of roundabouts to let other cars through, or just stop randomly. Cars cut other cars off, and no one seems to care. Cars stop in the middle of the road, people get out of the car, get back in, leave, creating an enormous amount of traffic, and no one seems to care. I'm glad that I'm not allowed to drive while I'm over here... I don't think I'd want to!!) Emerito is lovely. He told me that "You have to open the door to your heart and your mind, if you don't you will learn nothing while you are in Spain". I believe that he's right. I'm going to make sure that my time here is a time where I will learn a crazy amount of things... Spanish, the Spanish culture, and maybe even some Latin and Maths! Exchange is a year where everything we've known will change and with that will come a new world view and characteristics. I'm looking forward to learning. So, I have opened the door to my heart and mind, willing to be challenged.

Emerito, of course, being the old, funny Spaniard he is, got the times wrong, so I of course, missed the bus. "No problema". I ended up eating a second lunch (my first lunch being another bocadilla de tortilla) at Maria Carmen's parents' house. It was an interesting experience. They knew no English, spoke rapid Spanish. To say I was a little overwhelmed is an understatement. I got really tired from trying to understand everything, so I had a 'siesta' after I ate. I caught the bus to Tudela, and got more and more excited by the minute.

At about midnight, I finally arrived at Tudela. I saw María Antonia, y José Antonio waiting for me at the bus stop, and they are so lovely. There is a definite difference in temperature between Madrid and Tudela... Tudela is much colder. I got to skype Mum and Dad that night, which was so so so lovely.

On Monday I started school. I was pretty nervous. But, there is another Australian in my class, which is both a blessing and not. The blessing is that she is able to show me the ropes, and explain everything to me in a way that I'll understand. The downside is that we speak English together. I was expecting to get to school, and have to really use my Spanish, but on my first day, I barely used any Spanish. That got me really down. My whole aim for exchange, is to become fluent in Spanish. And there I was at school, speaking English to an Australian. Exchange is certainly different to how I expected it to be. I was really surprised by the ease I felt in slipping back into school. I thought it would take me a week or two, but I felt completely natural in a class where I didn't understand anything. It felt like I was back in Tonga, or Hong Kong, and I felt... comfortable. The school that I go to is pretty big. It's a lot smaller than Wycliffe, but has 13oo people that attend. It's three stories high, and reminds me so much of American schools. Long hallways, a cafeteria type thing... Though is probably completely different. They don't take attendance here, so you could not turn up, and no one would do anything about it. And they do exams all the time! On Monday they had an exam, tomorrow, they have two... every week they have an exam for a subject, so it's constantly study study study for them. It's a completely different education system, and I'm loving working it out.

Today is Thursday, and I'm in a completely different mindset to my first day. I changed out of Economics to Latin, and have moved seats, and am sitting next to some Spanish people. I'm actually loving going to school, and trying to work out what people are saying. And, to make things even better... It snowed today!! It snowed all day. At first it was just like sprinkles of snow here and there, but by the end of the day it was steady, and was staying on the ground. But, then for about half an hour the sun came out and melted most of it away.


This weekend is Carnaval.. I think the equivalent to America's Halloween, but, bigger! We all dress up, and go out to town. And this Sunday I'm going skiing in France! It's really close to the Spanish border... but still in France. I'm really excited.

I miss my family. And my friends. But in an unusual way. I am happy to be in Spain. I love that I am here for a year, and that I get to experience life as a Spaniard. But I see my family and friends in everything. Everyone reminds me of someone at home. Mum, you would love María Antonia. She puts so much butter on bread! That reminds me of you. In my home, there is a model plane, and everytime I walk past it, I think of you, Dad, and wonder what you're up to. Any dog I see, reminds me of Bonnie. Everything brings memories of home, and the only thing I'm sad about, is that you guys don't get to experience this journey with me physically.

Exchange is completely different to how I thought it would be. I thought it would be a lot easier, or fun, or crazy. But it's not. It's difficult. Leaving everything for a year is incredibly difficult, and I've had a lot of times in just one week, where I question what I am doing in Spain. Being somewhere where I can't express myself is difficult and so frustrating. But with the hardness, has come great triumph. I have been praying more constantly, continually thanking God for the small things, like snow at school today, or asking for help when I call my ears (orejas) sheep (ovejas). I started a prayer journal type thing when I left. And looking back just a week, I can see how God has been answering my prayers. I love that God is a constant through exchange. He is always there, when everything that I hold dear to me is not. This week I have learnt a lot about the God of comfort, the God of wisdom, the God that answers prayers. He is a God worth praising, and I'm looking forward to being revealed of all of His glory this year.

So long, farewell...

This will probably be my last post in Australia.

Such a weird feeling to be writing that sentence. Ever since I decided to go on exchange, and started the process of applying, I have been avidly reading blogs of exchange students. I would get so excited at their 'last post in home country' entry, eagerly anticipating the time when I would be in their shoes.

Well, the time has come, (I leave in 2 sleeps, on Thursday afternoon) and I can say that this period of time is a time of a crazy amount of emotions. I am constantly thinking about exchange, and everything that I do is about exchange now. I only have two sleeps left in my own bed, and then I will be away for a year. The countdowns have well and truly started, some already having finished.

Can I just say that saying goodbye sucks?! I have felt so emotionally tired from all of the goodbyes I have said. I think I'm going to make it without crying... and then they smile at me, or say, "I love you" and I lose it. I'm a silent crier. I scrunch my face up and cry silently, and so forcefully that I can't speak. My brothers (particularly Grant) make fun of my crying, and I have exposed many people to this style over the past couple of days. Saying goodbye to small things, like crunchy peanut butter, no. 2 at the petrol station outside of maccas, maccas visits after church and youthgroup, Martin's lookout, the smell of gumtrees, walking at home in barefeet... these are all goodbyes that I have said 'goodbye' with sadness, but with a knowledge that I will return home and they will still be there. Saying goodbye to friends, especially my friends starting uni is another matter. This year, in particular, is a year of huge change for my friendship group... people starting uni, moving out of home... I will return from my year on exchange, and everyone will have gone through a massive journey. I sometimes feel left out of my friends' world; as I'll be experiencing and I'll be apart of their life from the side lines. I'll be watching, cheering them on (via Facebook and Skype of course!), but I won't be there physically. This isn't to say that I've only just realised that; I knew this was a part of exchange. It just doesn't make goodbyes easier.

This is a photo of me and my sister-in-law at my farewell party that I had on Saturday night. I loved the party so much. It was such a celebration of the friendship I have with everyone, and I felt so blessed to have so many people there farewelling me as I embark on my exchange. It was a little sad, but overall, a celebration of life, friendship, and of the adventures of exchange.

I said goodbye to some of my relatives tonight. We had a family dinner. Oh so sad, I thought I would never stop crying. To make matters worse, my goldfish died. Long story short, I had a hate relationship with my fish. Galileo was given to me for my 16th birthday, almost three years ago. He was black. After about three months, he turned gold, indicating he was sick. I always made jokes, "Just die!" (Though, now that he is dead, I think of him with fond memories!) Dad loved Galileo. He would feed him often three times a day, when I would go three weeks without feeding him. When I was in charge of Galileo, his tank would be green before I cleaned it; with Dad, the tank would be cleaned at least once a week. So with all my, "Oh I don't care about you, you stupid fish!" what did I do when I found out he was dead? I cried. It was just another sign that everything about my life right now is coming to an end. Last Thursday I cried for about an hour because I realised I wouldn't have my dog Bonnie with me all the time. I seriously don't know what I'll do without my white ball of fluff. Cutest. Thing. Ever. Tonight I sat with Mum and Dad and watched an episode of House (second last episode of season 5). Tomorrow we'll finish off the season, and then it will be an end of an era. No more sitting in bed watching t.v. shows on DVD with them before bed. At least for a year. The luxuries of my life now are being taken away, and in no time will be replaced with new luxuries of my new host family. It's sad though. I will miss my parents and family and friends beyond measure. I will miss their familiarity, and the comfort of their hugs, and the way that I know what makes them tick. But they'll be here, and when I get back, we'll be together again.

So, goodbye Australia. Goodbye my family and friends. Goodbye home. Goodbye Bonnie. Enjoy your year, I know I will, and I'll see you in one short year.

Host Family and Visas

God has answered my prayers! After my big stress on Thursday night, I got my visa on Friday, and my host family on today!

I was hanging out with my (AWESOME!) friend Ellyn, and I needed to check something on the internet, so I routinley checked my hotmail, and there was the beautiful email from my advisor that was titled, "Placement". I got so excited I started screaming, "I HAVE A HOST FAMILY!" And mum and I started screaming and it was so exciting.

My host family sounds lovely, and I will be living in a town called Tudela, in a region called Navarra, in the north of Spain. It looks beautiful and my town was built in 800AD. The new part of town doesn't seem as pretty, but the old town looks really cool! Tudela is 90km away from Pamplona, where the running of the bulls is!!! And its about 150km?? from the French border. It's pretty cool to know where I'll be living!

I have a father, who is an economist, a mother who is a psychologist, a younger sister Ana, 13; a younger sister María, 11; and a younger brother Javier, 6. I'm so excited to be the eldest in the family!!

I think the thing I'm most worried about is the language. Navarra is a region that speaks Basque, also known as Euskera. It is completely different to Spanish. To say 'hello' in Castellano (Spanish) is 'hola'. To say hello in Euskera is 'Kaixo' (pronounced Kai-sho). So it's completely different. I don't know how dominant Euskera is, and what language my school will be taught in, but I'll at least get a grasp for each language.

But I am so so so excited to finally have a family and a place, and a visa!!! Yay! An answer to prayer.

Itinerary!

Yesterday I got my itinerary for Spain!

It is as follows:

Thursday 4/2/10 Depart Sydney at 5:30pm
Thursday 4/2/10 Arrive Bangkok at 10:45pm
Friday 5/2/10 Depart Bangkok at 12:10am
Friday 5/2/10 Arrive London Heathrow at 5:55am
Friday 5/2/10 Depart London Heathrow at 8:20am
Friday 5/2/10 Arrive MADRID!!! at 11:35am

Though, this is subject to change if my VISA still hasn't come through by then. So it may be later, but hopefully not!

So exciting - I finally have a date to depart, but also makes it a whole lot more real. I am finally understanding and realising, that in less than one month, I will leaving for Spain, (probably in Spain at this moment in one month!).

Although, I don't have a host family, which kinda sucks so hopefully I'll find out that soon :)

Woo hoo!! I'm going to Spain!

The End Of School

I think I commented on this in my other post... but I am finishing school in 8 days. 8 short days. Today, I am feeling quite sentimental about it all- I just looked through all of my facebook photos, and thought, that these might be my last days with some of my friends! I so don't want that aspect of school to end- I love coming to school and seeing my peers every day...

I don't want to waste my last days at school, so I'm about to go to the shops to buy some fun stuff to celebrate the end of school with friends with.

My dad used to write me and my brothers a quote in an email every day to inspire us and encourage in our lives. He now sends this to quite a few people, and I find such joy in reading them. He recently wrote one on this following quote:

“Find occasions to celebrate your happiness. There is more to celebrate than anniversaries and birthdays."

Amanda Bradley

I am going to celebrate these last few days at school! I hope that whoever reads this decides to look upon their life as a celebration, and can see what or who makes them celebrate life:

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
Marcel Proust

"...It may not be my wedding anniversary today and I might not remember what I did on my first wedding anniversary, however I do know who I spent that day, and chose to spend the rest of my life with. My wife Wendy and she is the charming gardener in my life that makes my soul blossom.

So who makes your soul blossom? Whose soul do you make blossom? How much gardening are you going to do today? Tell someone today that they are the gardener of your life and the impact that they have on you." (Excerpt from my Dad's quote)